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MARK HEBWOOD

Rule 1

What do I like? What do I dislike? And why? Do I need to live in the country or in the city? Do I want a family or stay single? If I don't know who I am, I cannot know what I need. In the opening chapter I explore how we can find out who we are.

Know who you are

Rule 2

As we are learning more about who we are, we are finding out more about what we need. But how to decide when we get to a crossroads? I made up some decision tests that may help.

Know what you need

Rule 3

Really? Now that's quite a claim! But I am talking about mindset here, not actual blame. In this rule, I chat about how to use this mindset as a tool to empower ourselves, to put us back in the driver's seat, to make sure we do not see ourselves as victims.

Everything is your fault!

Rule 4

But what if you really are a victim - of abuse, of poverty, of war? I am finding answers in the account of somebody who overcame such challenges. It turns out we may all have what it takes to conquer circumstance. But we need to find it in ourselves, and then tap into it.

Conquer circumstance

Rule 5

As we let go of the habit to judge others, we become more confident in ourselves. As we do, we become more balanced, more centred, and a little bit happier.

Don't judge

Rule 6

We cannot find all the answers without help. But how to ask for advice? This is in itself a tricky skill to learn. Which advice should I heed? Which should I reject? To know this, we again need to know who we are. But just as much, we need people we can trust...

Seek advice

Rule 7

... and if we haven't got such people in our lives already, maybe it's time to look for a life partner. But if we want that, how can we know who's right for us? I claim we already know, deep down, and discuss how to spot the clues.

Find a friend

Rule 8

It's time to construct a comfort zone! This is a place where our weaknesses are not important, but our strengths are. It can take a lifetime to build such a zone, and I discuss the tools we need.

Shape your world

Rule 9

As we are finding out more about ourselves, we will discover things we do not like. Are these things a yin to a yang in our personality? Or do we have to change them? In this rule, I develop a tool that can help pinpointing our place in the ethical flux.

Know what's right

Rule 1 Rule 2 Rule 3 Rule 4 Rule 5 Rule 6 Rule 7 Rule 8 Rule 9